No Happy Hour?!

I’m not a big drinker, but occasionally a drink would be nice. Unfortunately, I discovered this week that if I want a drink in this town it is going to cost me. Friday afternoon, I called every restaurant in this town to see if they were having a happy hour. They all said no. I was perplexed by this, so I called all the restaurants back and asked what days and times they have happy hour. (Note: very few restaurants.) None of them have happy hour at all. NONE!! Even the two chain restaurants that have happy hours in other towns do not have happy hour here. How can this be? This town is on the lower end of the socio-economic scale and you want us all the pay FULL PRICE for our drinks? I understand this is the Bible Belt, but even Jesus drank a little wine.

I have a theory. A conspiracy theory. There is a bar and restaurants that serve alcohol, but not many. However, there are a few bars that require a “membership” in order to partake in the alcohol consumption or even entry for that matter. It is very prestigious. It is a place to kick back with a beer and play Bunco with the community’s upper crust. This is not a dry county and other neighboring cities (that are MILES away) have places with happy hour, so what is the damn deal here? I think the upper crust have basically muscled out happy hour in order to get people to come to their “members only” bars in order to brainwash people into their way of thinking. After all, if you are in there drinking you would become vulnerable and impressionable.

How can this town expect people to get together over drinks and socialize if no one but a few can buy them? I’m not one for spending $8 or more on a drink and I know that 89% of this town feels the same I do. How are people supposed to build substantial social lives without a means to hang out. I’m not saying we need to turn this place into a town of alcoholics, but let’s face it, other towns are more fun because they have happy hour. Everyone likes to break lose every now and then and have a couple drinks to forget the stresses of their day. Without this fun outing one would go home and dwell on all the nasty things that happened. I guess no one here wants to be happy.

Fishy Situation or My Only Friend?

I have a fear of fish.

BUT somehow I ended up with one. This is how the story unfolds….

I was in a spa buying a purse in there that I liked. (I don’t make enough money to actually get any of the spa services) While I was in there this guy walked in with a crate of beta fish. He tells everyone that he is with this church that helps get people off the streets and into rehab. Once they have been rehabilitated, they make and sell crafts to try and get back on their feet. If you ask me a fish in NOT a craft, but there he was selling fish as crafts.

Well the spa owner buys a fish from the guy and then asks out loud if anyone wants a fish. I wasn’t into it. First off, I didn’t want a fish PERIOD. Second, the fish was $10! I could buy a beta fish at a pet shop for like $2! (I actually found out later that this is not possible in the town I live in since there is no pet store.) Third, I didn’t trust this guy. HE looked fishy. Was he really making crafts for this church? I had never heard of this church, but what do I know? I haven’t lived here long enough to know if this church even exists, let alone has former drug addicts sell fish to people trying to shop in stores that say “no solicitation” on the door.

Anyway, the spa owner asked out loud if anyone wanted to buy a fish. I just kept quiet while waiting in line to buy my purse. As I get to the cash register, everyone else in the store who had found it in their hearts to buy a fish (which was everyone but me) is searching through the crate for their match. The guy asked me flat out if I wanted to buy a fish. I should have just had the balls to say no, but instead I come up with what I thought was a viable excuse, “ I would, but I don’t have any cash with me. Sorry.” I wanted to applaud myself for coming up with a tightly locked excuse until I heard, “Oh, I can add ten dollars to your purchase, run your credit card for that amount and give him ten dollars cash from my register.” I look over and see the spa owner holding her outrageously priced fish making this suggestion. Did she really think that I wanted this fish?

At this point, there is no way out. I can’t say that I have no money because I’m buying a purse and it’s too late to say I just don’t want a fish because I already said that I DID! So the next thing I know I’m picking out a fish. It was slim pickings since everyone in the spa had already picked a fish for themselves. All but one of the fish looked sickly. I could have picked a sick fish and waited for it to die, but that would be a waste of my $10. So I picked a pretty blue fish that I named Paul.





I got Paul a new bowl and some food and he is still alive and well.

Did I Smell?!

Here is some background information.

I moved from a place like this:




To a place like this:





I moved here for a job that sounds really cool on paper, but if you were to follow me around for a day you would probably feel sorry for me, especially once you heard how much money I make. Some might wonder what possessed me to take a job where I don’t make much money and move to a town like this away from my home and loved ones. YOU GOT ME? At least the people here speak the same language… sort of.

I’ve been here about four months and so far have managed to not make a single friend. How does a generally friendly person, like me, not manage to make a single friend? I don’t know. I guess I’m not as great as I thought. When I was in college I thought I was a pretty cool chick. I had a lot of friends and a fun life. Then I left school and had to move home. It was a rough time, but at least I still had friends and a city to entertain me.
Here though, things are different. You can’t just go to the bar, dance hall, club, mall or any real social place for that matter and make some friends, because those places don’t exist here. What does exist? WAL-MART and churches. I’ve been to both Wal-mart and to one church in particular.

At this church I thought things were going to work out. I thought I had met some good people, till the fateful day this girl asked me, while I was sitting by myself, if I was lonely. Basically how the story broke down was that her husband was trying to make her sit by me so I wouldn’t be alone and she didn’t want to. DID I SMELL? Nope. I had showered before I went to hang out with these potential “friends.” I’ve had some other bad episodes with people attempting to use me because they hear my job title and think I’m a billionaire.

Needless to say, I do not have any friends and this point and have no people to celebrate the small victories in life with.